It has sold over a million copies of the "Treaty of caresses." Gérard Leleu, sexologist and couples therapist, tackles this time in "The art of making love." This doctor defends "couture love" and is determined to make men understand that "a woman undressing in three minutes and has four, we forget! ". Getting to fellatio or find her G-spot? How to make love by letting go? We asked Gérard Leleu share with us his advice to be (even more) blossomed in bed
To be comfortable under the covers, nothing like masturbation. Gérard Leleu, this is the first rule: "it is essential that the woman knows, physiological and anatomical point of view, she discovered her gender by sight and touch: the hood, the clitoris, small and big lips ... ".
The autoérotisme gets to know his body and tame enjoyment. "The woman must awaken itself. If the clitoral plan is almost instantaneous, it must be driven to awaken her vagina, I also nicknamed 'The Sleeping Beauty'! The conventional method would be to request a 'prince charming help'! But sometimes he does not know anything and will move back and forth! The woman can autoérotiser with toys, because the finger is difficult. "
How? "By combining clitoral caresses to cause the packaging of pleasure which will then be grafted behind the vagina. "For the sexologist," identify vulvar or vaginal point then helps guide your partner and tell him who you are and what gives us pleasure. "
How to make love ? Briefez your man
You just change partners? Do not hesitate to teach him the things that make you good. "The other can not guess how you feel! We must therefore guide "insists Gérard Leleu. Caressing, foreplay, positions: communicate! But lightly ... "Do it not a presentation but tell him accurately: a little left over 'from above', 'stronger' or 'weaker'.
Prefer short sentences and avoid criticism, the risk that the other steers. "Be strategic and think of the type formulas 'I love as you caress me wonderfully, but it would be better if ...'.
The author of "The art of making love" is categorical: "If you are too tense, you will not feel anything. Give her body is always an event, if it gives only if we love. Except that even the most beautiful women have complex! ". Hence the need to learn to let go. If you consider a part of legs in the air like a gym workout, there is little chance that you were allowed away by a wind eroticism.
To put the odds on your side, try to really feel the caresses of your partner: there is nothing more relaxing. To relax, control your breath, "Breathe deeply through your nose by inflating the abdomen and lock the breath and blow. This is called respiration to 4 times, "the doctor says.
That may be how he will come! Gérard Leleu keep repeating it to his patients: "Do not be in the running to orgasm, this is the best way precisely not to have! The woman is subjected to terrorism orgasm must defuse. If we want the rocket, we will not have it! What to expect when you're with someone it's tenderness, physical contact and pleasure. And if the orgasm happens, great! We must not imagine that is abnormal when there is no orgasm, it is not automatic in women. "
But what if our partner strikes you with a vigorous 'So you enjoyed?'. Simulate ... or not? Should we advocate the truth or hooting at play-simulating? "Simulation has a practical side as man believes when all is well. Except that simulate is to refuse progress, cutting the perfectionism of the man and cut real pleasure. "How indeed to improve your cuddle under the covers if your man is already convinced of being the new Rocco 2010?
Teach her clitoral caress
To make love, once again, we must learn to her man where and how our clitoris. "It was the jewelry, finesse: the movements should be minor in magnitude, do not approach the clitoris directly on the glans but through the cap. Above all, man must be constant movement in and never stop, otherwise the woman will berserk! The partner must be fully attentive to the woman in the quivering, breathing. And when the climax came, it must stop if it becomes painful. "
Discover point C
Why also do not put your man oral sex? Gérard Leleu, "vulvar kiss, caress subtle tip of the tongue, is the most luxurious way to reach orgasm. "
Also think of the vaginal caress, when man will stimulate the vagina with his fingers or an object. "Women should be confident but be aware that vaginal caress gives more pleasure than penetration because the vaginal mucosa are a real erotic constellation. "
And there the sexologist reveals a secret: point C! Understand a point in the cul-de-sac post, that is to say behind the cervix. "Massage the neck: Women fall in apples! ". The bad news is that it is virtually impossible to reach alone, the neck being located 6 or 7 cm from the entrance of the vagina ...
Rediscover the G
We asked Gérard Leleu if the G-spot really exist. "Absolutely! But it may not be awake and what is certain is that it is more or less sensitive. "
Hence the question: how to find the G-spot? "It is not very difficult: it is located on the anterior surface of the vagina, bladder side, 4 cm (2 phalanges) of the input. To the touch, it is an area where there are like folds, as I often tell when the tide goes out on the sand. Your partner must go squarely, by pressure pressed on the point G. If it is well on the G, the woman will have to urinate: this is a typical sign! "
Successfully perform fellatio
No pressure or obligation with respect to oral sex. But if you want to test "the penile kiss", Gérard Leleu advises to combine technique and instinctive. "Listen to your instincts, forget your fear and all that you have learned. We do not do oral sex on a man in order that he ejaculates but for pleasure. "
Technically, take a comfortable position: for example you can kneel between the man's legs. Before rushing on sex, caress first his belly, her pubis and inner thighs. then caress his penis with your hands and your mouth. Then, "associate the coming and going of lips sucking the glans to a movement of a hand at the base of the penis. "
How to Make Love: choose the best positions for you
"Only three out of 10 women experiencing vaginal orgasm, it's awful! "Exclaims Gérard Leleu. "Ask prolong your partner and forget 'love cock' I jump on you and in two minutes it's over! The partner must learn control ejaculation "says sexologist.
Some positions also allow women to experience more fun. Forget the classic missionary: "the problem is that the woman can not move." Test rather enhanced missionary: "man is on his knees, the woman on the back, a pillow under the pelvis, legs bent over her breasts. The vulva is presented to man, he can go deep and stimulate the clitoris of his partner. " Think also of the greyhound, renamed the position of the lioness by Gérard Leleu. "The penetration of the penis is deep, and there is contact with the G if the back is straight. Access to the clitoris for women and for men is easy. "
And if you like to be in control, choose the position of Andromache, "the woman is on top, in control: it can caress along the man penetrates, looks at him and can caress her breasts."
Know manage failure
The man sometimes afraid of not being up to par and the erectile dysfunction are the biggest concern. And, according to Gérard Leleu, women do not always know how to react when their partner has suddenly failure.
"Already, the woman must stop thinking that it is involved, narcissistically talking! She often makes this failure a personal affront, she will panic when the one who is in trouble, it's him, his partner! We must therefore bring to his aid. "
And sexologist advise psychology before erotic tactics "must reassure his partner: 'do not worry, it happens',' not a problem ',' if it's not going tonight, it will be better after. If we make fun of them, this is a lifetime injury. "
Then the specialist advises "excitement gestures", how about a blowjob if you feel the desire or penetration of Andromache position "if the vagina is distended, well lubricated, not even a rod completely horny, it can be introduced. The man can then recover and regain strength. "